So I admit it. I play Facebook games. A lot of them....probably way too many. I find them extremely more engaging than 95% of the people on Facebook. There is more interaction with the game than there is with most people. With the game there is a response to your response. There is that with people...but mostly they are just narcissistic fools that are in love with themselves and what's going on in their own life. It 's not that I don't have anything going on...it's that once in a while, I would appreciate someone asking something about myself. NOT ALL THE TIME...just once in a while. Act like you're interested. Act like I am not a boring slug. I'm not, mind you.....but one begins to feel that way about themselves when they read all the blogs and postings out there by everyone. I don't care what you have for dinner, therefore I'm not posting what I have for dinner. If you feel bad....keep it to yourself. Don't post it. It looks like your begging for sympathy and that's not attractive. I know people care. Sorta. I know people SAY they care. That's more like it.
Friendship: it's not all it's cracked up to be. It's work most of the time....it always seems to be one-sided for me. I'm not interesting enough. NOT WHINING HERE....just stating the fact of how it is. People have told me....that I appear as though I have no problems therefore I must not have much to complain about or talk about. It is true..I am happily married. To a man that adores me (go figure) and most of the time likes hearing what I have to say. He respects my need for solitude, most of the time. He loves me inspite of myself and because of myself. The best part of me is him. This I know without a doubt. He is the greatest treasure I have. My children and family are the other ones. My children are all very well adjusted and talented. They aren't on drugs or alcoholics or have criminal records...(unless you count the time my son was taken into custody over a warrant for speeding). They suffer from their own self-doubt, which is normal, and is their cross to bear and learn from. They each need to find their way to the Lord themselves and the cross/es they bear is/are their entry into the kingdom. Choices made. Choices not made. We live by those. You start letting go of your children the minute they are born, if you don't...they will pull away before you are ready for it and then it is you that suffers.
Today is a random thought kinda day. At least I'm getting something down on paper. To those of you that may find your way to this blog and take issue with me.....just remember, you have not walked in my shoes nor are you in my situation. You don't want to live in my head.....so....take that into consideration.
Listening to one of my favorite songs at the moment...."Happy" by Pharrell Williams. I don't really believe in the notion of happiness. It is such a fleeting feeling. Can't be maintained for any extended period of time, but contentment, well, that's something that I am striving for on a daily basis. Contentment, acceptance, genuine-ness and joy. True joy. Being truly genuine....and comfortable in my own skin. My 61 year old skin that is flaky and red. Accepting oneself is not always an easy thing to do, because we always know ourselves better than anyone else. We know what goes on inside our brains/minds and to speak something other than what is the truth is hard. Best not to say anything at all in my book. But that doesn't seem to be possible for me either. Being accused of being insensitive when you inadvertently spoke the truth and it wasn't accepted. I think the Lord himself had that experience (except He didn't speak things inadvertently...he was deliberate) and what I said had nothing to do with eternity or weighty matters. It was a simple statement of fact that someone else took too personal. GET OVER YOURSELVES PEOPLE!!!!!
Have to go to the grocery store today......exciting news. I don't want to go. Going to see if my husband will go with me if I agree to take him to dinner first.....think it might work.
More later...........
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